http://www.gsusignal.com/polopoly_fs/1.2554230!/126final.pdf

You can find us on page 13 of this issue of GSU’s The Signal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3_Ib0kJntU&feature=related

Conscious Collective at Georgia State University has been performing and needless to say, the reviews have been awesome! I want to show you what we’ve done so far:

Also, I want to introduce the other fam of ILL LYT (ILL LYTERATI) who’s been a massive inspiration to the group over at the AUC. Here is some of their work:

And here is an open mic video at Kilgore, home of the ILLYTERATI! With Cammy G. (Conscious Collective) as the intro!

If you want to see more of Conscious Collective, join the group page on Facebook (CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE) or join us on OrgSync!

If you want to see more of ILL LYT, find them on Facebook (Ill Lyterati)

My Pet Peeve
I used to sit three rows down from an amazingly, gorgeous, Nubian goddess
She was the hottest…

She had long flowing hair – 18 inches to be exact, lacefronted beautifully from her forehead down to her back
And as I leaned back to put down my mack…
My ears resonated with was was already going on within…
This was the heffa, the entire semester that had the affinity for clicking pens

You might as well have pushed her tapeline back and gave her bucked teeth
Because had I known the entire time that it was her terrettes thumb that was bothering me…
I would have cut her eyelids off and gave her sleeping pills and watched her try to fall asleep!

Now maybe I’m being a little extreme…
I mean
People looove feeding my Pet Peeve

Like the white chick that sits behind me with her pasty bare feet –
Curling her toes on the basket under my desk,
I CAN FEEL THAT YOU IDIOT!

Or maybe I should twitpic your baby toe
You know –
The one with no nail that you somehow still keep painted
Maybe then you’ll become the best pet peeve food in the world

Or little girls who wear plastic shoes and take purpose with
EACH
And EVERY step
Running down EACH
And EVERY isle
Of the supermarket
I ABHOR you…

And for women who have text message response anxiety because I have not texted you back within 3 minutes
I wish…I could…ignore you

But now I can’t because when you BBM me,
The little ‘R’ icon is all the ammunition you need for your enraged attention like,
“I KNOW YOU READ MY MESSAGES!”
Well maybe I don’t have a response yet

And for you idiots
Who think They’re, Their, and There are synonyms
I imagine giving them a table spoon of cinnamon and stabbing them with epinephrine just so I can see them squirm
Maybe then they’ll learn that –
THEY’RE not going to change THEIR meaning just because you put them THERE

And just because you decided to go natural
Doesn’t mean you can just be naturally, nasty nappy
I need you to wash it, comb it, pick it, style it, or dred it
Just don’t you wake up and forget it or I will slap you hard enough to perm that bunch of balled up Christmas lights you call a hairstyle…

Don’t be afraid to open up your chips in class –
No one’s going to kill you…
But you carefully trying to free open a bag of potato crisps for 15 minutes during the quietest part of the class time WILL MAKE ME HURT YOU

Dear Pringles…
I am a grown man
And consequentially, I have grown man hands
That can’t fit inside your can of bliss
So please fix this before I come and blow up your cowboy-horse-seat-potato-chip-making plant in the ABYSS

And for you devastating divas of Delta Sigma Theta
Just the ones who are just TOO HOOD to be collegiate…
I hope that the next time you duck walk in a dress
We’ll find out that Victoria isn’t the only one with a secret

And for you bourgeoisie ladies of AKA who won’t date any brother that makes under six figures
You’ll be hence now and forever more be called our Miss Black …&…Gold DIGGER

And to my sisters who keep putting us in the category with ain’t ish niggers
I will be forced
To load my nerf gun
Aiming at close range
And I will not hesitate to pull the trigger

And to my brothers who use pause and no homo as commas and periods to constipate your sentences
I will stab you in the neck with a knife
And keep giving it to you OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again…
(Pause)

But you know what I hate most of all?
I hate that the revolution will no longer be televised
Because now-a-days, the television is more powerful ad potent than street corner poets
They feel it, more than the conscious lyricist

So the next time you go to an open mic –
Do me a favor
Tell these poets to stop leaving the revolution on paper!
Stop writing words on lines and asking people to read between them
Because EMPTY words and clean, UNcallused hands have never beared a fruitful season
So give me a reason to keep believing that what you SAY is what you DO…
Otherwise…
I’ll put you in a poem…
And you’ll be my pet peeve too

I can tell you right now, at this very second…I’m tired of falling. Sometimes I wonder how many scraps I can get on my knees and elbows, or how many calluses I can formulate on my hand, or how many bruises and scars I can muster in this beautifully dumb idea of mastering the art of falling – just so that I can show off the scars. I mean, I enjoy being able to go through something in order to show someone else how good they have it or how they too can overcome it. The only problem with this is that right after I testify of my failures or falling, I’m amp’d  to get some new scars.

I say all that to say this. There are people in your life that will move through and out of your life. Situations will come and go. And the best thing you can do is to avoid the things you know will cause you pain and suffering. Every failure or fall that happens on it’s own natural occurrence will be there to test you and strengthen you first and foremost and only then can a testimonial come from a consistent example or voice of affirmation for someone else.

A friend of mine told me that people sometimes are bound to people. By far the best advice I’ve heard in a while…well besides her telling me to GO GET IT, which is another blog within itself. Basically, for those people who like to care so much to dig valleys themselves in order to give fresh dirt for those to build their own hills, I say this to you, “Everyone will have their own hills and valley experiences. It’s not up to you to forcibly create those experiences for them. Stay in your own lane and worry not about people when it isn’t necessary. I do believe that God uses our paths to connect to when we need to build hills or dig valleys with each other. Learning how to stand is so much better for everyone than learning how to fall.”

This will be how I conduct my blogs from now on. Short and sweet and mostly for me. If you can understand where I’m coming from, then I hope you feel me.

Your future seems to empty a light since we’ve been apart

And as I continue to scratch the walls with failed attempts to get to the physical you…
As I try to dig out the imprints you’ve left on the floors of my soul…
I bleed truth…
It gets deeper…

And I take that blood and write the deepest sentiments of heaven-sent melodic regiment of steps to moving on from you
I sew my heart up with lines of deep thought and accepting regret

Cupid has since moved on from carefully crafted arrows mended with longevity…
He crafts a pistol with bullets that go through and through
No wings, no infant smiles of possibility

Forget me not.

[Song that inspired the poem]

At 4:29am it begins.

I wake up ready to break a cold sweat. For the first time in years, I recall my dream, or in this case, nightmare, vividly.

Scooter, my godmom’s dog bit me and wouldn’t let me go. Not that this isn’t crazy scary, but the pain was immense. Every time I try to free myself, I cause myself more and more pain. So I twist my fingers just enough to pry his mouth open and free my fingers with minimal pain. I immediately move to my next dream…
I had on 3 wigs and a hat for some reason, lions were chasing something in my neighborhood and followed me home, I felt immobile even though I tried to move as hard as I could. Everything I wanted to do that was of my conscious mind, it wouldn’t happen. The lions started scratching at my wooden door. I immediately remember myself waking up in the bed in my CAU dorm room for the summer (this is my dream lining up with my reality) It felt so real that I thought I had woken up. I had called a friend of mine and told her about my wild dream. But then I started taking off the wigs which didn’t seem odd then, but I noticed my hair starting to fall out. I begin crying as she slightly chuckles as if I’m merely making a joke. I head to the door and an underwater breathing apparatus is in my mouth and every time I pull it out, another one is there, I begin to wonder if this is what it means to be trapped inside of a body that is lying about how u really are (vegetable state, mental illness,etc.) Once again i try to move and cannot. This is when I realize I’m dreaming. I wake up to type this.

The dream was a lot more visible and scarier while I was in the dream! (lol)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was more afraid that I couldn’t make any decisions on my own and they were being made for me…I felt immobile. The one thing I want to give these kids is a chance to awaken their ability to take control of their own future. No more nightmares for first generation, low-income children…I’ll let you know how the first day goes! They’re pulling up right now to move their stuff in.

Because your counterparts think they better then y’all
And while they tapperin off their aderol
Falling asleep after 12 hours wit piss in they draws
You gon take your time to stand tall

Get back to business…

Then after you’ve completely finished memorizing and synthesizing something you thought you’d never learn
Head to the classroom and take back what you already earned — Your Education

No more waiting

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
There will be no more online notes from you to temporarily wean from
No Subjects for dummies cause you ain’t dumb
No credit score fixes for your GPA
No college strategy books to teach you to play the game

[You sit there], and you demand education the way you learn best

And the only time you get up and walk out, is when you know you can ACE every test….

One the first day

Ain’t nothin’ changed…

I prayed for you when I was a kid
I don’t know what happened between know and then
But I got sidetracked in living for the moment
And if only I could change the past
I would do better by all of your protégés
Because I’m noticeably different than the kid inside of me

When I was a kid, I imagined you with a beautiful smile
And a style unique to your counterparts
At least that’s what I’d like to believe…
Maybe…just maybe…I can get back to that

I used to ask God to grant me the serenity to notice when you pass by
Even though I didn’t quite know what serenity meant…
I wanted you to at least come equipped with a bible
Leaving me to be subjected to my wife’s correction for you I wanted to be destined…

But then came adolescence and the presence of naked images
False witnesses to how good His mercy is
Caused me to doubt the real you…
I could no longer feel you
Instead preying on vixens for attention
I hinted at rings only for the moment…

So from this day for some time
I will prepare my time for you
Stray away from you until I can get back to you
Get back to the bent knees and folded hands
Dance for the first time…with you

I will prepare myself for you
For some time, I will engage in God for you
Day 1 of some time I will be behind His grace
I just pray to God that you’ll wait

Socrates

In the days of ancient Greece, we would know this as Know Thyself. A famous quote used by scholars and those educated in what it means to be confused, to encourage, and uplift an ideal of becoming tuned with not just any identity, but with your own identity.

We often try to understand the world, religion, life’s purpose, etc.; things on a grand scale, when in fact a more efficient question to answer is, How do we operate in this world, in our religion, with our life’s purpose? This can be explored through knowing yourself.

The quote comes from Socrates, a famous philosopher from Greece…if you haven’t read Stolen Legacy, I would encourage you to read it before you just accept this to be true. But at any rate, truth is truth no matter who speaks it. To know yourself is very important to surviving and maintaining sanity throughout our various matriculations. I will now open up with a very vivid discussion between fraternity brother, then aspiring mentor, of mine.

him: So do you know who you are?

me: Yeah, I know exactly who I am. A black man on a predominately white campus who loves to learn.

him: So you know that Alpha Phi Alpha is the better making of men? We don’t have some magic formula to making you a man. You come to terms with that by knowing who you are and how you fit into society and then assuming those responsibilities. Alpha’s not going to make you out to be some superstar. Alpha Phi Alpha is just a spotlight for the qualities you already have. If you’re a lame on campus, you gon be a lame Alpha man. It’s just as simple as that. Don’t tell anyone what they want to hear. Just know who you are before you knock on these doors.

me: Cool.

The Root of a Mindset

Understanding that I do identify with being an African American Male, I have grown to realize that it is very much different from identifying with being an African American Man. One deals with utility, and the other, responsibility. Straying away from that topic I want to point out that I attend Georgia State University, a predominately white campus. The same campus that has dealt with racism and segregation very recently. It has only been recent that we’ve been able to have an African American Department as well as an African American Student Services and Programs office. The early 90s was proof that we still weren’t able to mesh well as a university of blacks and whites. The tensions between greek fraternities was proof on a grand scale of how serious the matter has been. Black Face, trash cans riddled with explicit language, exclusion from activities, varied punishments for similar offenses, etc. are just some of the things we have dealt with as a University.

As a Black Man, I was always taught to embrace a heritage, a history, and respect a past for its wisdom and positive guidance. Being a Black Man, I was told growing up that I would face challenges rooting from my skin color; that I would be learning when to say certain things and when to dress a certain way; how to think this way and how to think that way. Not knowing that I was arming myself with a sort of Double Consciousness (Dubois), I understood this stressful living as a norm. Basically, I was taught to operate within being Black, and operate within being White.

Now, I’m not saying this because I believe it wholeheartedly, but I say it because it is a conversation that goes on within many Black homes. The truth is, that we have a deep rooted past stifled with anger, depression, and confusion; but also a past that is watered with success, opportunity, and tools to succeed.

As my experience here on Georgia State University’s campus as proven to be quite the ride, I’ve only realized up until now that Diversity…is…real. In saying that I want to explain what I think Georgia State University’s idea of Diversity is.

Diversity

The goal at the university from my viewpoint is to diversify majors, age groups, and most importantly, ethnicities. That’s what we think of when we think of diversity, but when it comes to diversifying this campus, a lot of Black students have called Georgia State a Black College and/or University ‘BCU’. So when on campus and you see a lot of the Blacks being campus leaders and student leaders, it’s hard to see the diversity on campus. As far as a culture, I believe Georgia State is trying to attain one culture, and water down the cultures of others. As far as mentors on campus and their diversity, the only people I see that look like me that understand how difficult it is to maintain and be true to supporting a culture that surrounds us – Urban Atlanta, GA, are few and far between. There are a few gems on campus that really work well with mentoring young Black Men on campus, but the overall majority viewpoint, is that there is little to no support for maintaining what ever mindset a history of hurt people have had – Blacks – and coexisting academically with the University’s majority. There is a focus only on diminishing cultures and increasing similarities of the assimilation-cast culture; whether that be White, American, or a Georgia State University culture.

Conclusion

Here is what i’ve surmised from my feelings and onlooking towards those who identify with my culture as a Black Man.

1. There is a culture that is being created and those who are trying to maintain their own culture coming into Georgia State University should look to assimilate or try on your most fashionable shades of Double Consciousness.
2. Those who are privileged don’t know they are privileged, so they are not going to care the you don’t get the way academics is taught here. What you need to do is play the game and survive with mind and motivation intact.
3. Black Greeks are under watchful eye of the university. Any group that can control a big population of Georgia State students “needs to be controlled” and those that don’t have connections with people who have clout with the university should be mindful of university’s policies – it’s the strongest thing they have to obtaining justice.
4. Look out for yourself and learn the ways of university culture and find ways to make it work for you.
5. Understand that no one is going to help you understand who you are. Once you find out how to use your niche to gain every opportunity that is available to you, it’s your job to matriculate safely through this fraternity.
6. At the end of the day, there really is no such thing as a Black Male Identity, neither is there a Black Man Identity. To describe one would hinge on the fact there there is a type of segregation in what a Black Man is and what a (insert ethnicity) Man is. When it comes to someone judging me by my skin color, and that includes people who hate me and people who need me to support a community of people, representation is powerful.

No matter how I feel about this university, it was my job to be able to play the game of the institution and learn the culture of diversity. The heart of diversity is the increase of similarity. You can’t hold on too tight of the past because it will get in the way of your growth with other people. On the other side of this heart of diversity, there are those who remain privileged in society who do not understand the struggle of an oppressed people.

Here is a question that I asked my colleagues and their responses:

“If you had advice to give to a Black Male coming to a Predominately White Institution about maintaining his identity, what would you tell him?”

Maurice Stewart:

if you don’t know who you are, find out what you’re not first…. keep that spiritual foundation with God on point, because he alone knew you before you knew yourself, and will guide you along the way, don’t get caught up in popularity b/c it has no lasting value, become acquainted with your people’s historical contributions to humanity, learn about other cultures, to thine own self be true

Turner Cooper:

Be yourself. Network. Have fun. Love Yourself!

Rashaad Owens:

Know yourself and who you are and where you come from..

Sherman Lofton:

Interesting. Main thing is stay true to yourself and stay rooted in your life lessons. Learn from others but don’t make their ideas/thoughts superior to yours

samwuma I guess i would advice one to treat it the same way you would w/ any other important part of your identity…say like religion. You might not have the same one as everyone else, but you should still wear it proudly but respectfully. dont push it on others, but be willing to share it. Obviously there are preconceived notions of what a black man should be. I would hope that this person embodies something other than a goon, angry obnoxious man, uneducated,…etc…basically what is portrayed in alot of media even though we like to say “we dont care what others think”…i dont know about you but sometimes I consciously hold myself in a way that will destroy any generalizations, stereotypes, or expectations from a “majority” i encounter.

TheHolyKnight3 On a white campus…learn all about your culture…don’t be afraid to think something is wrong.

br0wn24 have fun and don’t get locked up

TresSwygert Like Obama, get ready to take over, and watch the haters rise up. But for real, don’t alter your identity. Let them c the true u, and they’ll show u their true selves and just connect. There r white people who want to c u succeed.

DaAfricanKinG I would tell him don’t try to be something your not unless its genuinely how you act.but he must Remember where he came from

KMag_GSU may sound cliche’ but know know who & who’s you are…why you are here…and keep a close relationship with family. And that success breeds success so the moment you step foot in a classroom begin to scope out who will be your study group & they don’t all need to look like you def. not saying that you can’t study with indiv. of the same race..quite the opp. have a solid group of African American peers to study w..BUT also study with those outside that group bc i feel that ppl work @ times best outside their comfort zone and also that is how corp america is set-up…Last thing dont feel as though you have to rep. the whole race at all times yet still be conscious of the fact that we are a pred. white univ. every1 was not exposed to AA outside of media so therefore your help to set,confirm, or disprove the foundation of their opinions about our race.

tonythetiger21 I would tell him to stay versed in our culture. Read. Watch SOME news. Go home more often than not…that he doesn’t forget where he came from. But most importantly, I’d tell him to not be afraid to be himself. In a situation like that, he’s gonna be different. And he’s gonna need to learn to accept & embrace that idea.

KING_IAM1 keep it real w/ himself, don’t worry about the next person and never become a part of the statistics! Give your best always!

My_TaylorGang why does that issue (maintaining an identity as a Black Male) matter anyway?

It was great to hear from these scholars, now I want to hear from you! What do you think?

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Chapter 1: Raising Cain
They teach us to be quiet…like some kind of deaf person, they teach us sign language of mere physicality. We are the back bone to broken foundations and by whatever rite of passage we are allowed to be poured…
To be built upon, we give way to family trees and their many branches. We hold broken hearts as trophies, we…bleed silently while bandages are held at high price for the auction-we sell them to those who don’t even look like us…The price of emasculation and ridicule come with a societal toe-tag, we are baptized now in our own destructions.
Our brothers build ceilings whilst we lay amongst the high walls reaching for nothing…No ladders for lifting, no notches for climbing…just bloody hands from trying. We are the oppressed oppressors of our own machine, bought with the money they give us.

Chapter 2: The Development
Sweet children born with faces of the future while generational curses reign heavily over the rose bush like weeds. She pets our faces while our leaves fall…developing thorns out of sheer character. The only one tending the garden…She is our crown and glory, the only one to tend to the garden and she smiles like she should. Watering where she can. Believing his anatomy.
Yet broken tools are given to a mechanic to work wonders. Who does slumber and drift from the field…We are viciously, continuously, ambiguously, vigorously raising chained potential. And by far we have been influenced by many but raised by few. Retention of positive gain has the difficulty of swallowing even the faith of a mustard seed.

We look hard on the horizons because it was once promised to us and we will chase it until our feet bleed. Goals and expectations are simply obstacles to the gold we seek. Sometimes it is our own reflection…and sometimes we honor these obstacles as God’s way of restructuring His child. And as many of us try to gaze at the stars in the secrets of our own thoughts, our ceilings are painted [Black] but our skies are presented colorless, yet clear.

A man should know why his shoulders are broad, his manner defined, and his purpose, vigilant.

- God’s Poet/Cupid’s Puppet

“Loving sons and raising daughters…” – Jawanza Kunjufu
(To be continued…)